Tagsanstuff Posted March 12, 2011 Share Posted March 12, 2011 I hope this is ok to do here, but I am going to vent some...As some of you already know, I lost my husband almost 4 months ago this Sunday. It is very hard sometimes, because I thought he was all better and the Liver damage was reversed.(this is what he told me), so I believed it and also believed the Doctors when they said he was going to be better soon. I brought him home after a rough time of Kidney Dialysis ( 2 week stay at hospital) on November 12. On the way home he did not talk ( he slept) he grabbed my hand a couple of times, but I had to drive. He got sick, so I took him to the McDonald's Restaurant and they got really angry with me, because he would not hurry up in the bathroom ( they were wanting to close). The manager came into the bathroom and I explained what was wrong with him, but all this guy could say was, Im sorry, but he needs to leave so they can close. Glenn was totally out of it. The Liver was shutting down so fast. I had to slide myself under the stall and get him out of there so they would not contact the cops on us. I got him set and out in the car and got him back home after 2 1/2 hours on the road.I got him out of the car and walked him up the steps to our house and he came in and sat on the couch next to my son. My daughter got scared I think (because Glenn was not himself, he was dieing)and went upstairs. a couple hours after arriving home, i went to bed hoping he would be all better in the morning. well, the next morning at 9:11am Saturday November 13th, I found my husband dead. His heart gave out due to the liver and kidneys failing. I was going to donate my kidney to him, but, he did not make it. He knew he was going to die, and the hospital knew it too. he told them not to let me know because it would hurt me. I stopped breathing on my porch back in Sept.(they think it is heart disease) I feel this is why he did not tell me. So I decided to quit smoking, which I still can not believe I did, during all the stuff that has happened. It will be 2 months and 1 week tomorrow that I quit. I am so grateful for all the wonderful people here that have helped me since the passing of my husband and the start of my vaping. I feel good, but a little down these days. please say a prayer for my son. he is going through one heck of a time right now. (court) Ps> I intend to talk a little sometimes, maybe too much..lol.. Sharon and kitsune 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcquinn Posted March 12, 2011 Share Posted March 12, 2011 I will say a prayer for you and your family.I am sorry for your trials. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Uma Posted March 12, 2011 Share Posted March 12, 2011 My heart goes out to you and your family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovie Posted March 12, 2011 Share Posted March 12, 2011 vent on sweetie vent on .take a couple of really deep breaths go to your happy place and rest your sweet heart for a moment.it wiil get better. really big hugs for you and your family .just keep hanging on bless you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brian Posted March 12, 2011 Share Posted March 12, 2011 My prayers are with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nana Posted March 12, 2011 Share Posted March 12, 2011 It can help just knowing there is someone who will listen when you need to vent, so vent all you want...you've got listeners here. I'll keep you and your family in my prayers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tagsanstuff Posted March 13, 2011 Author Share Posted March 13, 2011 Thank you everyone. today is 4 months that he passed away. took the kids out and bought them something special and then went to the ice cream store..had a nice day Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Erika Posted March 13, 2011 Share Posted March 13, 2011 I am so sorry. Praying for your family. I can't imagine how tough it must be for you all. We are always here. Vent away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TroopX Posted March 13, 2011 Share Posted March 13, 2011 Vent away! ...and hang in there Tags! Sorry for your loss. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sharon Posted March 14, 2011 Share Posted March 14, 2011 Elaine, My thoughts and prayers are with you and your children today. The death of a loved one is so painful. Your heart just wants to die too. I am so proud of how you have held your home together and had the strength to encourage and support your children. Thank God for children!!! Congratulations on your decision to quit smoking, that is a gift to your family and friends. You have been a constant and supportive member of this forum, and for that, I am thankful. On May 27, 2010, my best friend and sister-in-law passed away. There is a hole in my brother's and my heart. A hole that no one else will ever be able to fill. I still cry, not everyday now. When you shared your loss of your husband with me, it gave me the strength that I was missing. Thank you. Please pray for my brother. He does not have any children and the one family friend that he found comfort and support, died March 9th. I really can't comprehend how God could do this. But I do know that God is a good and loving God and through Him we all will find eternity. God bless you Tags! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
egoluvr Posted March 14, 2011 Share Posted March 14, 2011 Luv ya tags. Please vent away that's why we are all here to support each other. So terribly sorry for your loss. I'm inspired by your strength and courage. Hang in there, I don't mean to sound cynical at all but it does get better in time. Feel free to pm me anytime you need a friend Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kitsune Posted March 14, 2011 Share Posted March 14, 2011 I am glad you were able to spend some time with the kids and have a nice day. Hopefully you will find more nice days along the way. I am really glad you were able to stop smoking, that at least is a positive thing for you and your kids. Vent all you want !!! we are here to support each other with vaping and all the other things we feel a need to share. I am glad you shared your story !!! Prayers and hugs to you and your family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tagsanstuff Posted March 27, 2011 Author Share Posted March 27, 2011 Elaine, My thoughts and prayers are with you and your children today. The death of a loved one is so painful. Your heart just wants to die too. I am so proud of how you have held your home together and had the strength to encourage and support your children. Thank God for children!!! Congratulations on your decision to quit smoking, that is a gift to your family and friends. You have been a constant and supportive member of this forum, and for that, I am thankful. On May 27, 2010, my best friend and sister-in-law passed away. There is a hole in my brother's and my heart. A hole that no one else will ever be able to fill. I still cry, not everyday now. When you shared your loss of your husband with me, it gave me the strength that I was missing. Thank you. Please pray for my brother. He does not have any children and the one family friend that he found comfort and support, died March 9th. I really can't comprehend how God could do this. But I do know that God is a good and loving God and through Him we all will find eternity. God bless you Tags! I am so sorry to hear about your brothers Loss. It is terrible that he does not have kids to help him through this, but he does have you and his friends to help. It is a terrible feeling to have lost a spouse. At the beginning I was hiding my emotions and would not let my kids see me cry. I was told I needed to share it with them for them to heal also. we can finally talk about Glenn and it does not hurt us now. we know he is not in anymore pain ( he must of been going through a heck of a lot of pain, as his kidneys and liver both shutdown). He took the kids out on Oct 31 to get candy and the next evening he was being rushed to another hospital in Baltimore,Md. for Liver and Kidney failure. The hospital told me his color would get better in time, and Glenn told me they were able to save his Liver. no they were not. they knew he was coming home to die. That darn hospital could of let me know and instead I found him dead the following morning. 9:11am on Nov 13th. we were together for 13 yrs, he passed away on the 13th, and my son is 13 yrs of age..if you take all 3 13s and add them together it makes 39, and that was my age when he passed away. also we had a service for him 13 days after he passed and he got 13 orange roses at the viewing. I laid in bed a few nights after thinking about all that. My sister-in-law has helped me out through out all this and has taking me to every Doctor visit and etc. She lost her husband also, but 5 yrs afterward's she got remarried. about 2 weeks after Glenn died, I was in bed and I remember very clearly, I wanted to give up! Then I thought about my daughter and son, who will be needing me. my daughter is getting ready to graduate HS and my 13 yr old son has behavior problems along with depression and so on. I was just so worried about who would take care of them..my daughter is fine. my son I worry about..I hardly ever cry anymore. sometimes I do, but, I am ok now. I just never expected to be without Glenn. He was my life and my only true love. see I told you, I talk alot..lol.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tagsanstuff Posted March 27, 2011 Author Share Posted March 27, 2011 Sharon: I will pray for your brother Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sharon Posted March 27, 2011 Share Posted March 27, 2011 Tags, you can talk to me anytime, about anything. I will pm you my phone number, please use it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mastiffmom Posted March 27, 2011 Share Posted March 27, 2011 Tags I am so sorry for your terrible loss. Boys tend to internalize pain and they are really much more emotionally fragile than girls, this will be very difficult for him. While it's been 4 months think about it only 4 months. He needs time to accept and then to heal, I lost my nephew almost 3 years ago and my son, who was an adult had a very difficult time with his grief. I was very worried about him and it took him more than a year to be able to speak of him without falling apart. I know that you are providing strong loving support to him and that is what he needs right now, his difficulty in many ways allows you to cope. You can go into Mommy mode and it's an escape from your own pain. Please take some time for yourself as well. Vent as much as you like, this loving community is all praying for you. I'm glad you found us and we will support you and just be here so you can say the things you can't to your family. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I'm sending a big hug out to all of you. Please accept my deepest sympathy and know that I am keeping you close to my heart. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DerStadtschutz Posted March 27, 2011 Share Posted March 27, 2011 (edited) This probably isn't the place for this, but oh well. MastiffMom, if males are "much more emotionally fragile," why do females attempt suicide more than males do? I don't buy that one bit. I see and hear girls/women freaking out and crying over stupid crap all the time that guys will just shrug off or not be bothered by at all. Sorry, but that's a crock. There is far too much evidence in support of the exact opposite. Now, that being said... I'm sorry for your loss, Tags. It's never fun when you lose someone you love and care about. I once lost a friend to a drug overdose. I hadn't seen him for probably a week or more before he died. He was really heavy into drugs, beyond what I had any clue about. He talked to me about suicide before, but I didn't get the impression he would actually do it. He told me not to worry about it, and that he was fine at the end of the conversation. From what I understand, he was into some really hard stuff pretty bad, and he decided to admit himself to rehab. I don't know if at the last minute he changed his mind and decided to end his life, or if he wanted one last hurrah the night before rehab started and accidentally took too much. I have no idea. Only he knows, but he's gone now. He's been gone for several years, and I'll never forget him or stop wishing I could see him again. I'd never felt so much pain in my heart in my entire life before or since I lost my friend. I can't even imagine what it must feel like to lose a spouse. I hope I never have to find out... I'm not going to pray because I don't believe it will do any good. But I want you to know that, like everybody else who responded here, I'm here for you to talk to. I hope you and your family can get thru this rough time. That goes for both of you two, Tags and Sharon. I don't know how much help I can really be, as I tend to look at things in a more cold, logical sort of way, but I'll gladly do what I can. Edited March 27, 2011 by DerStadtschutz joe2003, nana, AimeeG and 3 others 2 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
egoluvr Posted March 27, 2011 Share Posted March 27, 2011 This probably isn't the place for this, but oh well. MastiffMom, if males are "much more emotionally fragile," why do females attempt suicide more than males do? I don't buy that one bit. I see and hear girls/women freaking out and crying over stupid crap all the time that guys will just shrug off or not be bothered by at all. Sorry, but that's a crock. There is far too much evidence in support of the exact opposite. Now, that being said... I'm sorry for your loss, Tags. It's never fun when you lose someone you love and care about. I once lost a friend to a drug overdose. I hadn't seen him for probably a week or more before he died. He was really heavy into drugs, beyond what I had any clue about. He talked to me about suicide before, but I didn't get the impression he would actually do it. He told me not to worry about it, and that he was fine at the end of the conversation. From what I understand, he was into some really hard stuff pretty bad, and he decided to admit himself to rehab. I don't know if at the last minute he changed his mind and decided to end his life, or if he wanted one last hurrah the night before rehab started and accidentally took too much. I have no idea. Only he knows, but he's gone now. He's been gone for several years, and I'll never forget him or stop wishing I could see him again. I'd never felt so much pain in my heart in my entire life before or since I lost my friend. I can't even imagine what it must feel like to lose a spouse. I hope I never have to find out... I'm not going to pray because I don't believe it will do any good. But I want you to know that, like everybody else who responded here, I'm here for you to talk to. I hope you and your family can get thru this rough time. That goes for both of you two, Tags and Sharon. I don't know how much help I can really be, as I tend to look at things in a more cold, logical sort of way, but I'll gladly do what I can. OMG what is the point of your post other than trying to pick at someone whose obviously going through a really tough time?????? NIce you to try and sympathize after your dumb comment which really wasn't necessary for this topic, and btw isn't even accurate. IT's obvious that you have some sort of insecurity issue as you always have to try and pick out something in others post to try and correct. I'm so sorry and my heart goes out to everyone whose ever lost someone they loved. And you do have my thoughts and prayers because I DO BELIEVE it will do a lot of good. DerStadtschutz and Brian 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DerStadtschutz Posted March 27, 2011 Share Posted March 27, 2011 (edited) OMG what is the point of your post other than trying to pick at someone whose obviously going through a really tough time?????? NIce you to try and sympathize after your dumb comment which really wasn't necessary for this topic, and btw isn't even accurate. IT's obvious that you have some sort of insecurity issue as you always have to try and pick out something in others post to try and correct. I'm so sorry and my heart goes out to everyone whose ever lost someone they loved. And you do have my thoughts and prayers because I DO BELIEVE it will do a lot of good. MastiffMom wasn't the original poster, and therefore not the one who is "obviously going thru a really rough time." Try again, egoluvr. "U.S. Suicide Statistics (2001) Attempted Suicides There are approximately 750,000 suicide attempts each year. An estimated 5 million living Americans have attempted suicide. More females attempt suicide than males. (3 female attempts for each male attempt.)" http://www.suicide.org/suicide-statistics.html Anyway, how about instead of being so negative and giving me hell for something I said that you don't like, maybe you could appreciate the fact that I'm trying to sympathize with someone dealing with something difficult. And excuse me for not sharing the same religious beliefs that the rest of you seem to. Just because I choose not to pray doesn't mean I don't care. If I didn't care, I wouldn't have posted here in the first place. Edited March 27, 2011 by DerStadtschutz DerStadtschutz, Sharon, egoluvr and 1 other 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeffb Posted March 28, 2011 Share Posted March 28, 2011 This thread is closed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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