keenan Posted November 22, 2009 Share Posted November 22, 2009 Whoever thought of this one - is now single. Funny stuff ! Wife Girlfriend Software! Dear Tech Support: Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of this was included with the product information. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now launches during system initialization, where it monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Fishing 7.5, and Motorcycling 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I can’t seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I’m thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn’t work on Wife 1.0. Please help!!!!!! THE REPLY: Dear Troubled User: This is due to a very common problem that generates many complaints. It is due to a primary misconception generally by male users. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 thinking that it is merely a “Utilities and Entertainment program”. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its creator to run everything! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and return to Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating systems files cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0, so nothing is gained. It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to disallow this. Some have tried Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than in the original system. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under “Warnings - Alimony/Child Support.” I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application C:\YES DEAR to alleviate software augmentation. Having installed Wife 1.0 myself, I also suggest that you read the entire section regarding “General Partnership Faults (GPFs).” You must assume all responsibility for any faults and problems that occur, regardless of their cause. You will also find that GPF’s are cyclical. The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE. Avoid excessive use of C:\YES DEAR because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return too normal anyway. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 (which replaces Burn It 1.0), Trash 4.0, and Do Bills 4.2. You must, however, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program NagNag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 should this happen. WARNING!!!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install SecretaryShortSkirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StevenP Posted November 22, 2009 Share Posted November 22, 2009 I laughed continuously while reading this, awesome post, keenan! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sinikal Posted November 22, 2009 Share Posted November 22, 2009 LMAO!!!!! Nice one! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeffb Posted November 23, 2009 Share Posted November 23, 2009 I have found the Wife 1.0 continually mutates. I don't know what version I'm on now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keenan Posted November 23, 2009 Author Share Posted November 23, 2009 I have found the Wife 1.0 continually mutates. I don't know what version I'm on now. Might be time to defrag ! ( Or at least clean your cookies ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeffb Posted November 23, 2009 Share Posted November 23, 2009 Dammit keenan, I read your reply with a mouth full of soda and spit it on my laptop. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keenan Posted November 23, 2009 Author Share Posted November 23, 2009 ROFLMAO !!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stirfry Posted November 23, 2009 Share Posted November 23, 2009 i have successfully uninstalled Wife 1.0, but it caused serious dammage to my system and cost me a great deal of money. i highly suggest what you continue using Girlfriend 1.0 and up FOR AS POSSIBLE. i now have issues installing any previous or current versions of Girlfriend, and my Hard-drive contains numerous errors and may possibly be damaged beyond repair. \ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vapemudgeon Posted November 23, 2009 Share Posted November 23, 2009 Kinda makes one understand why some switch to a MAC !!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheGreen Posted November 23, 2009 Share Posted November 23, 2009 I own a copy of Wife 2.0. I do not have any problems with it so far. But there was spyware installed and now I can't get rid of the pop-ups from Mother-in-Law 2.0. Wife 1.0 caused serious problem to my hard drive turning it blue. Returned Wife 1.0 as that OS in obsolete. But as with M-I-L 2.0, I can not get rid of pop-ups from Wife 1.0. Any suggestions? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keenan Posted November 23, 2009 Author Share Posted November 23, 2009 I own a copy of Wife 2.0. I do not have any problems with it so far. But there was spyware installed and now I can't get rid of the pop-ups from Mother-in-Law 2.0. Wife 1.0 caused serious problem to my hard drive turning it blue. Returned Wife 1.0 as that OS in obsolete. But as with M-I-L 2.0, I can not get rid of pop-ups from Wife 1.0. Any suggestions? As for your hard drive turning blue, you may need to run Spank 3.1 and then delete the main files. The pop ups from wife 1.0 can be controlled by deleting alimony 1.0 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vapemudgeon Posted November 23, 2009 Share Posted November 23, 2009 As for your hard drive turning blue, you may need to run Spank 3.1 and then delete the main files. The pop ups from wife 1.0 can be controlled by deleting alimony 1.0 I...... Ahhh...... Oh, never mind..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ofortuna Posted November 23, 2009 Share Posted November 23, 2009 (edited) you guys are vicious!! hehe!! us girls are all not like that.....well maybe!! :P but i will say that is really f'n funny!! Edited November 23, 2009 by Ofortuna Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christopher Posted November 23, 2009 Share Posted November 23, 2009 I found that if you rename SecretaryShortSkirt 3.3 to BusinessTrip 1.5 Wife 1.0 doesn't pick up on application change. Just make sure Business Trip 1.5 is run on a remote system on not on the home drive. MUAH HA HA HA HA Who am I kidding I can't even get passed the firewall. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheGreen Posted November 23, 2009 Share Posted November 23, 2009 @Chris I'm crying over here Too Funny!!!!! I do know that one day I will no longer be able to upgrade my PC and I'll be left with a floppy disk anyways. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sinikal Posted November 23, 2009 Share Posted November 23, 2009 you guys are nerds Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stubear62 Posted November 23, 2009 Share Posted November 23, 2009 I use to have the Wife 1.0 I deleted that with the kids 1.1 and 1.2 from hard drive. I found out, though, the hard drive had crashed and need new one. So I get a new hard drive, put in Girl Friend 7.5. I had found that Wife 1.0 with Kids 1.1 & 1.2 ebbeded themselves into Memory. Well, I had to replace said memory to a much faster and more streamlined chip set. Well, to my surprise, after finally getting rid of Wife 1.0 and Kids 1.1, I still have Kids 1.2 some where lurking in the background. It pops up when I don't give a cleaning to my Bank Account 11.4 so Wife 1.0 doesn't appear. Girl Friend 7.5 had to be updated to Wife 2.0, which came with M. I .L 2.0 and a neat program called New In Law Family 2.2. I liked the new program N.I.L.F. 2.2 and was overjoyed. But then the inevitible happened to me. I got the Disablity Virus. Well, Wife 2.0 didn't know how it happened as I didn't know either. We tried to work around it to no avail. Alas, Disability was rectified with the anti-virus SSDC 4.9 and then things started to work fine. To my astonishment, Wife 2.0 did something with my M.I.L. 2.0 and now it got screwy with me. I cannot get M.I.L. 2.0 to work and I am not allowed to see what I use to see as evertime I click on Wife 2.0, I get the message "ERROR IN M.I.L. 2.0-Please see Wife 2.0 help & FAQ's and referance the code HNAOAM1". This pissed me off, so I tried to see why I got this error and now I know how I got it. Wife 2.0 comes up with the ICTM.I.L. 2.0NSDLY error. ????????????? Well, seems like my Wife 2.0 had moved to another drive. So everything I thought that would work after the Wife 1.0 program was axed, doesn't. Very tempermentle these Wife programs. All I have to say is now I will not be able to enjoy my new Christmas program comming out in Dec. as Wife 2.0 and M.I.L. 2.0 won't allow me too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeRo9k Posted November 23, 2009 Share Posted November 23, 2009 I read that a whole ago, really funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sinikal Posted November 23, 2009 Share Posted November 23, 2009 "Daddy, how was I born ? Ah, very well, one day you need to find out anyway! Mom and Dad got together in a chat room on MSN. Dad set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber cafe. We snuck into a secluded room, and then your mother downloaded from your dad's memory stick. As soon as dad was ready for an upload, it was discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall. Since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later the blessed virus appeared. And that's the story." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keenan Posted November 23, 2009 Author Share Posted November 23, 2009 "Daddy, how was I born ? Ah, very well, one day you need to find out anyway! Mom and Dad got together in a chat room on MSN. Dad set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber cafe. We snuck into a secluded room, and then your mother downloaded from your dad's memory stick. As soon as dad was ready for an upload, it was discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall. Since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later the blessed virus appeared. And that's the story." Thats how I had my 3 gigabytes ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vapemudgeon Posted November 24, 2009 Share Posted November 24, 2009 "Daddy, how was I born ? Ah, very well, one day you need to find out anyway! Mom and Dad got together in a chat room on MSN. Dad set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber cafe. We snuck into a secluded room, and then your mother downloaded from your dad's memory stick. As soon as dad was ready for an upload, it was discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall. Since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later the blessed virus appeared. And that's the story." WE'RE nerds !?!?!?!?!!??!?!?!?!??!?!? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ofortuna Posted November 24, 2009 Share Posted November 24, 2009 yes...yes we are would not have it any other way!! you guys rock!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sinikal Posted November 24, 2009 Share Posted November 24, 2009 (edited) N E R D= Never Ending Radical Dudes!!!! And Dudettes of course Edited November 24, 2009 by Sinikal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ofortuna Posted November 24, 2009 Share Posted November 24, 2009 (edited) yeah for the dudettes!! thanks for including us Sinikal!! There are not too many of us on here!! Edited November 24, 2009 by Ofortuna Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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