Is It Wrong

[BeachBum]

I have been vaping for a little over a year, but can't seem to get off of the analogs completely. I have cut down by over 60%, but still am smoking about 6 to 8 analogs a day. My wife tried her 1st analog a few weeks ago at age 42 and found the experience quite unpleasant. She has been trying the e-cig over the last few weeks and seems to be OK with it, but has only done it a few times a week. I find that when she is trying the e-cig, I am more likely to leave the analogs sit and vape instead. She is using 0 nicotine and is still learning. Is it wrong of me to encourage her to do it more so that we can share and to help me reduce my analog intake?

[Lily]

Hi again, Beach. To be honest, there is no right or wrong with vaping. It depends upon your personal goals. There is a lot of pressure coming from the culture to rid oneself of smoking analogs. It's understandable that you want your spouse to be on board with you. I would suggest letting things take there course. There is and will be support for you in the forum!

[Jkimbo]

I have been vaping for a little over a year, but can't seem to get off of the analogs completely. I have cut down by over 60%, but still am smoking about 6 to 8 analogs a day. My wife tried her 1st analog a few weeks ago at age 42 and found the experience quite unpleasant. She has been trying the e-cig over the last few weeks and seems to be OK with it, but has only done it a few times a week. I find that when she is trying the e-cig, I am more likely to leave the analogs sit and vape instead. She is using 0 nicotine and is still learning. Is it wrong of me to encourage her to do it more so that we can share and to help me reduce my analog intake?

There is no right or wrong as some one already mentioned. But you did ask for "opinions" and when you ask Jkimbo for an opinion, you better be ready for a honest reply.

IMHO what your doing is weak and unfair. Why are you using your wife who has never smoked or vaped in her life as a tool to make a transition easier for you? Sorry no sympathy here for you, only your wife. If this sounds harsh or brutal I think you need it. My short experience here on this great forum is every one will be too polite to tell you the real deal in a way you can understand.

I'm just saying, work on your own addiction with out dragging your wife in to the battle ground.

[BeachBum]

There is no right or wrong as some one already mentioned. But you did ask for "opinions" and when you ask Jkimbo for an opinion, you better be ready for a honest reply.

IMHO what your doing is weak and unfair. Why are you using your wife who has never smoked or vaped in her life as a tool to make a transition easier for you? Sorry no sympathy here for you, only your wife. If this sounds harsh or brutal I think you need it. My short experience here on this great forum is every one will be too polite to tell you the real deal in a way you can understand.

I'm just saying, work on your own addiction with out dragging your wife in to the battle ground.

I appreciate your honesty Jkimbo. You are correct in a lot of ways. My wife is coming with me willingly and believe it or not, the experience has made us closer over the last few weeks because it is something we can take time together with and share. She is using 0 nicotine and only doing it when we sit down in the evenings together to relax (which we weren't doing before). If it helps make us closer and helps me at the same time, is there really any harm?

[Jkimbo]

I appreciate your honesty Jkimbo. You are correct in a lot of ways. My wife is coming with me willingly and believe it or not, the experience has made us closer over the last few weeks because it is something we can take time together with and share. She is using 0 nicotine and only doing it when we sit down in the evenings together to relax (which we weren't doing before). If it helps make us closer and helps me at the same time, is there really any harm?

No body here knows what the long term effects of vaping even 0 nic are. For previous smokers it matters not because for us even if our teeth fall out in 5 years we are still better off.

You are only thinking of yourself.

You can take her out to a movie, dinner, dancing and you can relax and feel closer.

Why introduce your wife to vaping if she never even smoked before? Oh yea, it makes it easier for you.

Just my opinion.

[nyaz21]

There is no right or wrong as some one already mentioned. But you did ask for "opinions" and when you ask Jkimbo for an opinion, you better be ready for a honest reply.

IMHO what your doing is weak and unfair. Why are you using your wife who has never smoked or vaped in her life as a tool to make a transition easier for you? Sorry no sympathy here for you, only your wife. If this sounds harsh or brutal I think you need it. My short experience here on this great forum is every one will be too polite to tell you the real deal in a way you can understand.

I'm just saying, work on your own addiction with out dragging your wife in to the battle ground.

I COMPLETELY agree with you!!!! why would you possibly want your wife to start inhaling anything when she's never had to before?! The fact that it's 0 nicotine doesn't make it much better IMHO. I don't really get why her vaping makes it easier for you not to smoke analogs when your wife doesn't seem to have been part of the smoking equation to begin with. you should be thankful that your wife doesn't smoke ANYTHING and wanting to change that seems so strange to me.

[Uma]

you already know my honest opinion on this... (jogging shoes!).

My suggestion? Have HER do the research and shopping for you. You obviously need a different to you PV and eliquid and Atty and enthusiasm. Just be sure she can do a little shopping for herself at her favorite store online.

Maybe YOU need to get on board with HER likes or hobbies. She's really reaching out there to "bond" with YOU. I'd drop you like a flea off a dog if I were her.

Well, you asked.

[Jolly]

i'm totally going to get attacked for what i may say.

if she is using zero nic, likes the ecig, then i see no harm.

we all need some type of support, if she doesn't have an issue with it then nobody else should.

my female friend doesn't smoke but when we go out to the bar she loves to hit my caramel flavors that do have nic in them.

your wife is her own person and can make her own choices.

i wouldn't say "do this to help me".

the real question at hand is, what is it that you are missing from cigs that you arent getting with your ecig, causing you to keep smoking them?

[BeachBum]

Wow, pretty harsh responses here. She is a very stressed lady and I try to find things that we can share in the she likes to do, but she is very busy and unless she has a reason to sit down and take a break for a few minutes, she will just run herself into the ground. She has talked about taking up analogs and even tried one a few weeks ago, and I said that it would be better to try vaping than analogs and she agreed. The fact that it gave us something additional to share in and gave her an opportunity to sit down and do something that takes her mind off of everything is a bonus. Unless I quit both analogs and vaping, I suspect that she will take up one or the other eventually and I would prefer it to be vaping.

[nyaz21]

Wow, pretty harsh responses here. She is a very stressed lady and I try to find things that we can share in the she likes to do, but she is very busy and unless she has a reason to sit down and take a break for a few minutes, she will just run herself into the ground. She has talked about taking up analogs and even tried one a few weeks ago, and I said that it would be better to try vaping than analogs and she agreed. The fact that it gave us something additional to share in and gave her an opportunity to sit down and do something that takes her mind off of everything is a bonus. Unless I quit both analogs and vaping, I suspect that she will take up one or the other eventually and I would prefer it to be vaping.

The way you said "she likes it ok" sounded to me like she was just doing it b/c you asked her to. Sorry for jumping to that conclusion. Obviously it would be better for to vap no nicotine then to start smoking cigarettes!!! Her vaping b/c she enjoys it is one thing, her vaping just to help you quit smoking is another...IMHO

[BeachBum]

The way you said "she likes it ok" sounded to me like she was just doing it b/c you asked her to. Sorry for jumping to that conclusion. Obviously it would be better for to vap no nicotine then to start smoking cigarettes!!! Her vaping b/c she enjoys it is one thing, her vaping just to help you quit smoking is another...IMHO

She is mainly doing it as a diversion. She has a horrid job and a lot of stress. She only vapes about once or twice a week when we have free time in the evenings after the little one has gone to bed and before she goes to bed an hour later.

[unruly8i]

Seems to me there are a lot of other options for stress relief & bonding out there that are a lot more fun. I would choose something else rather than the unknown of vaping.

I see vaping as an alternative to a nasty disgusting habit. We vapers may be doing something healthier & less stinky than smoking but it's still an unattractive habit. We look like over-grown children with a pacifier.

[Uma]

My apologies for being harsh earlier.

[ashora]

i agree with Insane Poster....what e-cig do you have?

[BeachBum]

i'm totally going to get attacked for what i may say.

if she is using zero nic, likes the ecig, then i see no harm.

we all need some type of support, if she doesn't have an issue with it then nobody else should.

my female friend doesn't smoke but when we go out to the bar she loves to hit my caramel flavors that do have nic in them.

your wife is her own person and can make her own choices.

i wouldn't say "do this to help me".

the real question at hand is, what is it that you are missing from cigs that you arent getting with your ecig, causing you to keep smoking them?

Thank you for the supportive reply. I am not forcing her to do this, but I do make the zero nicotine ones available to her so that if she wants to do this, she won't get addicted to the nicotine and can just do it to relax and unwind after a stressful day.

[Obsidiantalon]

I'd like to toss my 2 cents into the mix here.. But I'd like to preface my statement by saying this: Despite how honestly you may think you've outlined things in your post, we all omit things to make our story sound better. It's human nature. Keep in mind that you've gotten answers / opinions in response to how you phrased your question.. Not necessarily to the question you actually want to ask.

If you're asking, "Is it bad to ask my wife to try this, for me?" Then I think there are probably far better alternatives. If you're asking, "Is it better to ask my wife to try this, because I sincerely think she's succumbing to the pressures of her job and this is the least objectionable path?" You're being nothing short of chivalrous in presenting the lesser of the evils.

It seems to me, that not only are you unsure of the question, you're unsure of which answer you want. And again, human nature dictates that we mold our question around what we want to hear.. So let me ask a question of you, if you don't mind.. And if you choose not to answer honestly, or answer at all.. At least be honest with yourself! Why do YOU want your wife to try vaping, and why does SHE want to try vaping?

Sorry for being brash! It was actually my intent to present something slightly less harsh than the responses I've seen thusfar.. My bad!

Take care!

[Popsicle]

i'm totally going to get attacked for what i may say.

if she is using zero nic, likes the ecig, then i see no harm.

we all need some type of support, if she doesn't have an issue with it then nobody else should.

my female friend doesn't smoke but when we go out to the bar she loves to hit my caramel flavors that do have nic in them.

your wife is her own person and can make her own choices.

i wouldn't say "do this to help me".

the real question at hand is, what is it that you are missing from cigs that you arent getting with your ecig, causing you to keep smoking them?

+1 for Jolly. I am constantly repulsed by the hypocrisy in this community, and the responses on this thread have truly disappointed me. We preach that the ingredients in liquid are safe, yet we attack anyone who dares to touch even 0mg without smoking first. You guys are calling this a smoking alternative? How is it an alternative if you have to earn the glorious title of "Smoker" first? I want electronic cigarettes to REPLACE analogs one day, and so should all of you. This means that instead of people picking up smoking, they'll simply go straight to vaping. Problem? Do you need to damage your lungs in order to be eligible?

Sorry, but I am all for vaping without smoking. If someone can skip that deadly step, then good for them.

To the original poster: Welcome to the forum. I'm so sorry about these posts, and please rest assured, this is no indication of our usual demeanor. Stick around, we're usually very nice people.

EDIT: Oh yeah, do tell us what device you use. It might just not be strong enough to match up to your smoking habits.

Edited September 24, 2010 by Popsicle

[BeachBum]

+1 for Jolly. I am constantly repulsed by the hypocrisy in this community, and the responses on this thread have truly disappointed me. We preach that the ingredients in liquid are safe, yet we attack anyone who dares to touch even 0mg without smoking first. You guys are calling this a smoking alternative? How is it an alternative if you have to earn the glorious title of "Smoker" first? I want electronic cigarettes to REPLACE analogs one day, and so should all of you. This means that instead of people picking up smoking, they'll simply go straight to vaping. Problem? Do you need to damage your lungs in order to be eligible?

Sorry, but I am all for vaping without smoking. If someone can skip that deadly step, then good for them.

To the original poster: Welcome to the forum. I'm so sorry about these posts, and please rest assured, this is no indication of our usual demeanor. Stick around, we're usually very nice people.

EDIT: Oh yeah, do tell us what device you use. It might just not be strong enough to match up to your smoking habits.

That was a great response Popsicle and thank you for that. I am using the DSE 901 with 36mg nicotine juice. My biggest problem is the ritual of lighting up, smoking for a few minutes and putting it out. I am now always vaping during the day, but haven't gotten over that 1st one in the morning and the evenings with my daily cocktail. As I spend more time with my wife and talk and share, it is getting better. On Wednesday I only had 4 analogs and just 2 yesterday. For my wife, she is very stressed and somewhat uptight and basically is looking to let go a little bit and do things to relax that are outside of her normal routine. She is joining me most evenings for a cocktail to take the edge off and we started playing backgammon. She hasn't vaped in the last week due to being sick, but expressed an interest in spending some time learning more this weekend.. Prior to all of this, she busied herself around the house each night until bedtime and never stopped to relax and smell the roses. The vaping is just one of the ways that we are using to change her routine and help her relax.

[BeachBum]

I'd like to toss my 2 cents into the mix here.. But I'd like to preface my statement by saying this: Despite how honestly you may think you've outlined things in your post, we all omit things to make our story sound better. It's human nature. Keep in mind that you've gotten answers / opinions in response to how you phrased your question.. Not necessarily to the question you actually want to ask.

If you're asking, "Is it bad to ask my wife to try this, for me?" Then I think there are probably far better alternatives. If you're asking, "Is it better to ask my wife to try this, because I sincerely think she's succumbing to the pressures of her job and this is the least objectionable path?" You're being nothing short of chivalrous in presenting the lesser of the evils.

It seems to me, that not only are you unsure of the question, you're unsure of which answer you want. And again, human nature dictates that we mold our question around what we want to hear.. So let me ask a question of you, if you don't mind.. And if you choose not to answer honestly, or answer at all.. At least be honest with yourself! Why do YOU want your wife to try vaping, and why does SHE want to try vaping?

Sorry for being brash! It was actually my intent to present something slightly less harsh than the responses I've seen thusfar.. My bad!

Take care!

In all honesty, there are several things going on here. First, my wife's job is horrible and she comes home in tears on many nights. She has mentioned that she was thinking of taking up smoking just so she could go outside for a break. She has also mentioned that she needs a way to relax and that I seem to get a lot of pleasure out of smoking. She also wants to try new things that are outside her comfort level without totally going off the deep end. She tried a regular cigarette a few weeks ago and found it relatively unpleasant, but said that she would want to try it again and remained open. This week as she was almost in tears after work, she mentioned that she would love to smoke for 2 weeks to learn how to do it properly so that she could smoke only when she gets stressed out. I am the one that suggested the e-cig as an alternative and I bought her 3 flavors of 0 nicotine juice.

Second, I do like that she and I can share this. It has actually opened up a whole new line of communication for us and we are spending a lot more time together now whether she vapes or not. Even when she doesn't vape, she mentions that she wants to learn, but she wants to do it when there is more time on the weekend or when she isn't just getting over her current cold. I make the 0 nic e-cig available to her, but I don't push her unless she starts talking about it herself. Third, I do find it a little sexy that she is doing something that she would not have done in the past. It was exciting the night that she smoked the analog and I have to admit that it got me excited. I don't however want her to take up smoking or vaping on a regualr daily basis and I don't want her to get addicted to anything that will harm her. I am providing her with the 0 nicotine so that she can learn easily without getting addidcted and then she can vape when she feels like it a few times a week in the evenings without NEEDING to smoke or vape because she is addicted.

Fourth, in addition to the vaping, I have started her playing backgammon with me, and most nights she has an evening cocktail with me to take the edge off. All of this is a process to help her reduce stress and learn how to relax, and it all works together as her and I work together.

Sorry that was so long, but it was a great thing for you to make me think about her and my motivation in this. Thank you!!

[Obsidiantalon]

Beach,

I think it's great that you guys have found something that excites you both! I would hate to see your wife start smoking analogs, and it's awesome that she's content with even 0 nic vaping. To that end, I think you're in the right. Just remember, don't push her for your reasons. Only if she's presenting you with an ultimatum.. PV vs analog.. Otherwise, just let nature take its course, and let her decide for herself if vaping is for her. Just like you did!

Other than that.. Keep having your evening drink together! Talk about new juice flavors! Become pro at backgammon! And keep up your progress toward quitting analogs, it sounds like you're doing great!

Hopefully your wife feels better soon.

Also, to build on what Popsicle said, I think we all lost perspective a bit here in this thread. S/he is entirely correct, we advocate E-Cigs constantly.. Why stop now? I personally have converted most of my friends to PV vs analog... even have a couple that are interested in trying with 0 nic, just because they like the flavors, and the ritual itself!

Thanks for kick-starting our brains there a bit, Popsicle, I appreciate it!

Take care!

Edited September 24, 2010 by Obsidiantalon

[Uma]

Are you going to accept my apology for being harsh or am I going to have to take it back?

[BeachBum]

Are you going to accept my apology for being harsh or am I going to have to take it back?

Yes Uma, I do accept your apology. I know it is a touchy subject. The question is whether she would do it on her own or whether she is doing it because I do it and want her to share with me. I told her the other day that I was going to stop trying to teach her and have her vape more often with me because it does get a little frustrating. She asked me not to quit trying and that sometimes she just doesn't feel like it and she wants to do it when we have more time. She does not want to vape or smoke in any way in front of our son and since he goes to bed at 8:30 to 9:00 and she goes to bed between 9:30 and 10:00 we only get a limited amount of time together each day. In addition to the vaping, we are sharing many other things, but the main objective is to change her unhappy rituals and get her to relax and be more uninhibited overall.

[Popsicle]

In all honesty, there are several things going on here. First, my wife's job is horrible and she comes home in tears on many nights. She has mentioned that she was thinking of taking up smoking just so she could go outside for a break. She has also mentioned that she needs a way to relax and that I seem to get a lot of pleasure out of smoking. She also wants to try new things that are outside her comfort level without totally going off the deep end. She tried a regular cigarette a few weeks ago and found it relatively unpleasant, but said that she would want to try it again and remained open. This week as she was almost in tears after work, she mentioned that she would love to smoke for 2 weeks to learn how to do it properly so that she could smoke only when she gets stressed out. I am the one that suggested the e-cig as an alternative and I bought her 3 flavors of 0 nicotine juice.

Second, I do like that she and I can share this. It has actually opened up a whole new line of communication for us and we are spending a lot more time together now whether she vapes or not. Even when she doesn't vape, she mentions that she wants to learn, but she wants to do it when there is more time on the weekend or when she isn't just getting over her current cold. I make the 0 nic e-cig available to her, but I don't push her unless she starts talking about it herself. Third, I do find it a little sexy that she is doing something that she would not have done in the past. It was exciting the night that she smoked the analog and I have to admit that it got me excited. I don't however want her to take up smoking or vaping on a regualr daily basis and I don't want her to get addicted to anything that will harm her. I am providing her with the 0 nicotine so that she can learn easily without getting addidcted and then she can vape when she feels like it a few times a week in the evenings without NEEDING to smoke or vape because she is addicted.

Fourth, in addition to the vaping, I have started her playing backgammon with me, and most nights she has an evening cocktail with me to take the edge off. All of this is a process to help her reduce stress and learn how to relax, and it all works together as her and I work together.

Sorry that was so long, but it was a great thing for you to make me think about her and my motivation in this. Thank you!!

In that case, what I said before times TWO. Reminds me of a thread on ECF. Someone got torn apart because he had a friend who was in chronic pain due to some kind of medical condition. She was about to start smoking to take the edge off and he had the NERVE to get her to vape instead. They crucified him. Because he stopped a potential smoker and got her on a safer alternative instead. I don't know about you guys, but I want to high-five him.

If it is keeping her from smoking, great. If it is spicing up your marriage, even better.

As for the ritual addiction, there's not much that can be done about that. Just keep trying. As others said, there's not really a "wrong" way to do this. Vaping isn't signing a contract saying that you're not allowed to smoke anymore, although it is demonized in the community. I'll admit, I still smoke on occasion, because I'm no longer addicted to smoking. I can just smoke one and forget about it.

Wow, I kind of lost track there.

Anyways, yeah. Just keep trying! The point is, you're cutting down. That's better than nothing.

[BeachBum]

Beach,

I think it's great that you guys have found something that excites you both! I would hate to see your wife start smoking analogs, and it's awesome that she's content with even 0 nic vaping. To that end, I think you're in the right. Just remember, don't push her for your reasons. Only if she's presenting you with an ultimatum.. PV vs analog.. Otherwise, just let nature take its course, and let her decide for herself if vaping is for her. Just like you did!

Other than that.. Keep having your evening drink together! Talk about new juice flavors! Become pro at backgammon! And keep up your progress toward quitting analogs, it sounds like you're doing great!

Hopefully your wife feels better soon.

Also, to build on what Popsicle said, I think we all lost perspective a bit here in this thread. S/he is entirely correct, we advocate E-Cigs constantly.. Why stop now? I personally have converted most of my friends to PV vs analog... even have a couple that are interested in trying with 0 nic, just because they like the flavors, and the ritual itself!

Thanks for kick-starting our brains there a bit, Popsicle, I appreciate it!

Take care!

Thank you for your comment. As I told Uma, this is a touchy subject at best. I do think it is very sexy when a woman smokes, and it was incredible to watch her smoke an analog the 1st time, but I don't want her to start something that she can't stop if she wants to. If I was doing it because I want her to, I would probably be making sure that she was using something besides 0 nicotine to ensure that she gets addicted. Since this is not my choice, I am letting her try it and learn how to do it with 0 nicotine. If she decides that she wants to take it up as a habit that will be her choice alone and I will not force that choice on her in any way. I love my wife very much and I just want her to relax and enjoy life more and I would never force her to do something that she wasn't open to.

[Uma]

Glad you've clarified things all around.