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keenan

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Posts posted by keenan

    Italian Christmas

    in The Vape Lounge - Off Topic Chat

    Posted · Edited by keenan

    Ok. Im from new York City, one of the most diverse ethnic and cultural places on earth. I am first generation Irish. Im so Irish I dont bother to wear green on St. Paddys Day. I just tell people my name is Keenan Kelly and they go , "Ohhhhhh..."

    Now, I am the ONLY one of six children who DIDNT marry an Italian girl. Have no idea why, it just worked out that way. My wife is a mutt, about 20 different nationalitys, and she doesnt mind me calling her a mutt. After meeting and being a part of my Mic family for 28 years, she understands. But, I have been to MANY of my in laws houses MANY times. So when I got this e mail, I literally spit coffee through my nose from laughing so hard. If you come from an ethinic background, you'll really appreciate this. If not, I think youll ROFL anyway. I like to make people laugh, so I thought Id share this with you guys ....

    (This was an e mail sent to me )

    "I thought it would be a nice idea to bring a date to my

    parents' house on Christmas Eve. I thought it would be interesting for a non-

    Italian girl to see how an Italian family spends the holidays. I thought my

    mother and my date would hit it off like partridges and pear trees.....I was wrong!

    I had only known Karen for three weeks when I extended the

    invitation. 'I know these family things can be a little weird,' I told her,

    'but my folks are great, and we always have a lot of fun on Christmas Eve.'

    'Sounds fine to me,' Karen said.

    I told my mother I'd be bringing Karen with me. 'She's a very

    nice girl and she's really looking forward to meeting all of you.' 'Sounds

    fine to me,' my mother said. And that was that. Two telephone calls. Two

    sounds-fine-to-me. What more could I want?

    I should point out, I suppose, that in Italian households,

    Christmas Eve is the social event of the season -- an Italian woman's reason

    for living. She cleans. She cooks. She bakes. She orchestrates every minute

    of the entire evening. Christmas Eve is what Italian women live for.

    I should also point out, I suppose, that when it comes to the

    kind of women that make Italian men go nuts, Karen is it. She doesn't

    clean. She doesn't cook. She doesn't bake. And she has the largest breasts

    I have ever seen on a human being! I brought her anyway.

    7 p.m. -- we arrive.

    Karen and I walk in and putter around for half an hour waiting

    for the other guests to show up. During that half hour, my mother

    grills Karen like a cheeseburger on the barbecue & determines that Karen does not

    clean, cook, or bake. My father is equally observant. He pulls me

    into the living room and notes, 'She has the largest breasts I have ever seen

    on a human being!'

    7:30 p.m. - Others arrive.

    Zio Giovanni walks in with my Zia Maria, assorted kids, assorted

    gifts. We sit around the dining room table for antipasto, a symmetrically

    composed platter of lettuce, roasted peppers, black olives, anchovies

    and cheese....no meat of course.

    When I offer to make Karen's plate she says, 'No Thank you.'

    She points to the anchovies with a look of disgust.... 'You don't like

    anchovies?' I ask.

    'I don't like fish, Karen announces to one and all, as 67 other

    varieties of seafood are baking, broiling, or simmering, in the next

    room. My mother makes the sign of the cross. Things are getting uncomfortable.

    Zia Maria asks Karen what her family eats on Christmas Eve.

    Karen says, 'Knockwurst.' My father, who is still staring at

    Karen's chest in a daze, temporarily snaps out of it to murmur, 'Knockers?'

    My mother kicks him so hard he gets a blood clot.. None of this

    is turning out the way I'd hoped.

    8:00 p.m. - Second course.

    The spaghetti and crab sauce is on the way to the table. Karen

    declines the crab sauce and says she'll make her own with butter and

    ketchup. My mother asks me to join her in the kitchen. I take my 'Merry

    Christmas' napkin from my lap, place it on the 'Merry Christmas'

    tablecloth and walk into the kitchen. 'I don't want to start any trouble,' my mother

    says calmly, clutching a bottle of ketchup in her hands. 'But if she pours

    this on my pasta, I'm going to throw acid in her face.'

    'Come on,' I tell her. 'It's Christmas. Let her eat what she

    wants.' My mother considers the situation, then nods. As I turn to walk

    back into the dining room, she grabs my shoulder. 'Tell me the truth,' she

    says, 'are you serious with this tramp?'

    'She's not a tramp,' I reply. 'And I've only known her for

    three weeks.' 'Well, it's your life,' she tells me, 'but if you marry her,

    she'll poison you.'

    8:30 p.m. - More fish.

    My stomach is knotted like one of those macrame plant hangers

    that are always three times larger than the plants they hold. All the

    women get up to clear away the spaghetti dishes, except for Karen, who,

    instead, lights a cigarette.

    'Why don't you give them a little hand?' I politely suggest.

    Karen makes a face and walks into the kitchen carrying three forks. 'Dear, you

    don't have to do that,' my mother tells her, smiling painfully. 'Oh,

    okay,' Karen says, putting the forks on the sink. As she reenters the dining

    room, a wine glass flies over her head, and smashes against the wall. From

    the kitchen, my mother says, 'Whoops.'

    More fish comes out. After some goading, Karen tries a piece of

    scungilli, which she describes as 'slimy, like worms.' My mother winces,

    bites her hand and pounds her chest like one of those old women you

    always see in the sixth row of a funeral home. Zia Maria does the same. Karen,

    believing that this is something that all Italian women do on Christmas Eve,

    bites her hand and pounds her chest. My Zio Giovanni doesn't know what to

    make of it. My father's dentures fall out and chews a six-inch gash in the

    Christmas tablecloth.

    10:00 pm. - Coffee, dessert.

    Espresso all around. A little anisette. A curl of lemon peel.

    When Karen asks for milk, my mother finally slaps her in the face with a

    cannoli. I guess it had to happen sooner or later. Karen, believing that

    this is something that all Italian women do on Christmas Eve, picks up

    a cannoli and slaps my mother with it. 'This is fun,' Karen says.

    Time passes and believe it or not, everyone is laughing and

    smiling and filled with good cheer -- even my mother, who grabs me by the

    shoulder, laughs and says, 'Get that ***** out of my house.' Sounds fine

    to me.

    THE END

    If you aren't in stitches by now, you don't know Italians!!!

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Socialized Medicine

    in The Vape Lounge - Off Topic Chat

    Posted · Edited by keenan

    Well folks, heres an example of what we can expect when Obamacare, or Pelosicare, or whatever you want to call it, takes effect here in the U.S. This happened in Scotland.

    I dont know why my links arent working. But, the story is about a 67 year old man who was helping his wife with the groceries. he slipped on the ice, and caught his wedding ring on the railing as he fell. It ripped his finger OFF, blood was spurting everywhere. When he was rushed to the hospital, they told him he would have to take a taxi to another hospital. So he did, he shared a cab with a DOCTOR to another hospital, and 3 hours later, a surgeon re-attached the finger, but doubted it would heal properly. THAT, my friends, is socialized medicine. The story is on Foxnews.com. Remember, in 2010, vote all the bums out of a job. JMHO.

    Antifreeze

    in New Vapers Forum

    Posted

    During my ecig research I came across a post in another forum that said antifreeze is made with

    ethylene-glycol not propylene-glycol. Any comment? Also, can anyone tell me anything about vegetable glycol? Has anyone tried it? BMW

    Yeah, theres no anti freeze in the juice. Thats one of those things the e cig haters WRONGLY try to tell people. And VG, Ive never used it, but I know a lot of people do. Some people have a reaction to PG, and VG is an alternative.

    Explaning Vaping To A Doctor

    in General Vaping Discussion

    Posted

    I have a Doctor's appointment next monday and I was wondering what is the best way for me to describe Vaping to the Doc. Just incase he never heard of it. I describe it to my friends is like having a breathing treatment without the tar, Carbondioxide, with all the benefits of nicotine.

    I explained it to my Dr this way, its NOT smoking. He was interested from the words " I quit smoking and Im doing this now". I had my old Blu in my pocket and showed him all the parts, and he was like " Helll Yeah, go for it." I keep him updated ( I go once a month ), and he is all for it. I think youll be surprised, the medical community is all for these things from what Ive seen

    Tired Of Research...someone Tell Me What To Order!

    in New Vapers Forum

    Posted

    Hi Leah! Welcome to the forums, I have to agree with Keneen - he pretty much nailed everything. Awesomevapor.com has the 3 major units on their site, ones you might want to look into, Arno is great and has helped me a lot! After awhile, you will want to get a more powerful unit. But for now, might want to try out the 510.

    There will bumps in the roads, I know there has been some for me. There were moments where I felt the need to just buy a pack of cigarettes but haven't cause of the time and money I've already invested in Vaping. Now I'm smoke for almost 2 months! I even find myself not even vaping for the whole day. :)

    "Keneen" ? ! You vapin the everclear straight again Steve ? (JK)

    @ Leah, you also want to get some juice . I know it sounds like a lot at first, but once you come to LOVE vaping over smoking, you DONT wanna run out. And dripping into a cart or straight onto an atty is easy. Trust me, If I can do it, a one armed blind monkey can do it. :whistle:

    Info From My Doctor

    in The Vape Lounge - Off Topic Chat

    Posted

    Excellent news--its always good when your Dr. thinks you have made a good choice. Most Drs just want us off tobacco products--Most don't care how we do it.

    Keenan--sorry you guys are having such a rough end to your year. -- These days, most colostomies are temporary. No fun being that sick. Prayers for both of you...

    Thanks Kitsune, this certainly has been the year from helll ! The support we've gotten from people like you and everyone on VT has been SOOOoooo uplifting. Also, I think I might be saying it wrong, colostomie, colonostimie or whatever, its the one where you get a good cleaning out. They were at first thinking gallbladder, but while they havent ruled that out, theyre gonna go this route for now. At this point, I dont care if they put rubber duckies in here nightgown and make her sing Paul Anka songs, as long as it makes her better. Thanks again Kit !

    Rolling Your Own

    in The Vape Lounge - Off Topic Chat

    Posted

    I smoked Camel non-filter for YEARS. I dont remember ever having really bad breathing problems or hacking up lung oysters. My wife MADE me switch to filters, she said the non filters are way too bad for you, especially as heavy a smoker as I was. But, I have ALWAYS thought, its the filters that kill ya, not the tobacco. I know that sounds funny, but Im really serious. Just a theory Ive always had. Maybe Im wrong, but, ask my kids, Im usually not. :whistle:

    My New Emergeny Battery Charger

    in General Vaping Discussion

    Posted

    LOL ! Brian, a few years ago we had 4 hurricanes roar through here in Floriduh. Afterwards, you couldve sold a generator for ten grand if you could find one. When they finally DID become available, I bought one, always wanting to be prepared. Its still in the unopened box in my father-in-laws garage ! Havent used it once, except for that time we had a B-B-Q and I used the box to set my food plate on. :wacko:

    I'm Back

    in New Vapers Forum

    Posted

    Welcome back Hoosier ! Never tried to use a filter, doesnt sound like something I would try either, if youre talking about cartridge filler. Just doesnt sound like it would work, IMHO, but hey, go ahead and experiment, we might learn something new. As for the juice scare, I think we're safe for now. Im not sure when the next deadline is for the FDA to give us thier wisdom. Someone else might know and pop in here later. Again, glad to have you back !

    Noobie Needs Help!

    in New Vapers Forum

    Posted

    It did, it helped a lot, thanks again for all the help.. but one thing I've heard about the 510 is that it gives off a pretty strong throat hit. Is that true, and is there anything w/ a small throat hit?

    Throat hit is affected by juice strength. So, if you vape 24mg, youll get a strong throat hit, but if you vape 18mg, less throat hit, and so on and so on down the line.

    How Much Liquid

    in DIY e Liquid Discussion

    Posted

    Somewhere on here I posted a complete breakdown of how vaping translated to analogs but I can't find it now. Keenan, can you dig it up?

    I just gave a quick scan through all of your posts but didnt see it. Do you remember the title ? Or was it a response to another post?

    Noobie Needs Help!

    in New Vapers Forum

    Posted

    I do have a couple other questions... what's the difference between the joye510 and 520, is it just the battery size? Also, i heard a similar model, the dse901, was pretty good... do you know if that's true?

    Thats right, the batt size is the only difference. Ive heard good things about the 901, but I cant talk from experience. Im sure some other members will come on that can tell you about it though. The only other model Ive tried is the Blu, and I was sorely disappointed with it. Some people like it, but most, like me, dont like it. Hope this helped.

    See, God Does Pay Attention !

    in The Vape Lounge - Off Topic Chat

    Posted

    While this story starts out VERY sad, it has perhaps the BEST ending Ive ever seen since Cinderella !

    Morale of this story , Children, buy clothes that fit you

    http://www.sphere.com/crime/article/killer-hector-quinones-plunges-to-his-death-after-his-pants-fall-down/19287498?icid=main|main|dl1|link5|http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sphere.com%2Fcrime%2Farticle%2Fkiller-hector-quinones-plunges-to-his-death-after-his-pants-fall-down%2F19287498

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